Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Fragments of a Dead Story 2

I think it's good to go back and reread what you've written before, it's the only way you can get better, I believe. Right now I've hit a wall. I had hoped to have a chapter done by the end of the, but so far it looks like that will not be possible. Words are coming out but it doesn't feel write, and if it doesn;t feel write than it isn't right. So I'm looking back at another failed project of mine: The Elridge Barano Project. Essentially about an older writer dying, a younger writer following in his footsteps, and everything in between. I wrote 5 chapters for it, the 5th one being the strongest, a fairly dark chapter where we learn about someone dying and the crumbling of a young relationship. But in the middle of all this gloom, there was this:
"Sin-Choo relates to me his story:He was at a party, talking to a young, foxy little thing. The kind of girl that portly Asian stoners never get with. She was small, skinny, and perky, a cheerleader with blond hair. They started talking about the usual(music, school, weed) when finally, the perky cheerleader dragged Sin-Choo out to dance. Sin-Choo had never had something like this happen to him, and was nervous as she wrapped her arms around him, swayed her hips with his. Eventually, the girl kissed him(Sin-Choo would've never had the confidence to make that first move), long deep kisses. She leaned up to his ear, and whispered “Let's go upstairs.” before dragging him by the hand up to a random room in the house. After some more kissing, the cheerleader looked at him and bit her lip, asking, “Do you have anything we can smoke?”. Sin-Choo brought out some joints(“Always gotta be prepared, bro!”) and he and the cheerleader inhaled a hefty dose of that Bea Arthur bud (“Shit will make you a Golden Girl, nah' mean?”)The two get promptly high off their ass, and do what comes naturally. After about an hour of stoned sex(“Weed is the new Viagra!”) the cheerleader's boyfriend walks into the room. He takes a moment to analyze the scene, his girlfriend on top of this chubby Asian kid's dick with a joint in her mouth. This would piss off anyone, but would piss off a straight edge male cheerleader even more. He throws the cheerleader off of Sin-Choo and starts hailing down on him with punches, but after a few seconds stops. He reaches up to his face, right above his lip, and wipes off something and looks at it. Sin-Choo, bloody and bruised can't help but laugh. You see, when the boyfriend grabbed his girlfriend off of Sin-Choo, Sin-Choo was finishing up. At the exact moment. So what the boyfriend had just wiped off his upper lip, and was staring at now, was a big load of Sin-Choo's man juice!"

1 comment:

  1. That's pretty funny but it could be a little bit "hinted" at the end, like just have a foreshadow that the fat kid did what he did. Over all good If uwere to pick up the book off of a shelf and somehow ended on that chapter I would buy it.